The Tail of #575

Well, shit the #575 Trail Happened. Thank “G” that the IEH3 survives after 23 years.

Few hashers made it, but this trail was a shiggy fun time.

Ahhh, People’s Park where you are greeted with “NO PORKING” graffiti on the parking lot barricades. Yes, that was our venue. What’s up with that? Nice that our bankrupt hash cash brought pre-lube suds before we red-lined, and had no funds. Who is our hash cash anyway and what the F*** happened. We were promised a show for $7, but I don’t think it happened. Crap if our Hare Raiser doesn’t buck up for the cause, what will we become?

Boner hustled out and trail began. Red marks lead to a nice circle jerk, but we ran it backwards. Guess it wasn’t a LIVE TRAIL??? Any how, we followed backwards and forwards until the pack found a true red marked trail through People’s Park. Oh, what ventures wait? Tribal clans, tent folk, or the cockery that the graffiti stated? Whistles blew and hounds followed through dirt, brush, and water. Yes, this was hashing shiggy, BABY! Oh, but it didn’t rain. You lazy asses on the couch missed out this OLD SCHOOL hashing trail. You should be shammed.

Yeah, trail led through some tent cities, a few stunned pedestrians, and some lost souls (all stranded on a dirt path-trail, carrying backpacks). Hmmmm? Thank the ½ mind upstairs that we had whistles. As no stabbings, kidnappings, or floaters occurred. Yet, there was that B-Stop near the Cemetery. But I digress, it took lots of lost searching, thanks to the locals that wiped out the marks and some splashing through Hangman Creek or delicate stone hopping to arrive at the BS. But ohhh, how sweet the orange grub and suds went down, down, and down.

The hare rambled to his BS vehicle out of the cemetery and we gazed at the clouded sky to Pink Floyd and then determined it was time to go. A slide here and a slush there, guided us back across the creek and apartment lights showed us the way.

Circle was conducted and damn, suds were drunk. Many thanks to Hare-Just Plain F*ckin Boner, RA-Terminator, Beaver, Party Stick, Pussy Hat, Legal Bondage, Anal Whistler, Beast Masturbator, Tale of Two Titties, Cums in Spurts, and Valenteenie Ass.

Known as true and scribed by,
Trancid Nuts

The Tail of Trail #574

Visiting hasher Giggles Low ventured west and found the IEH3. Dressed in a camo-kilt, five-finger Vibram “shoes”, sweat encrusted straw cowboy hat, and an obligatory hash shirt this ½ mind was a perfect fit for the IEH3. Newly named Slob-Knob flung markings out of the Pit Stop in Post-It Falls. Trail ventured a strong two miles with two, yes TWO Beer Stops, through Treaty Rocks. But, ahhhhh no ORANGE FOOD. All hounds found it safely back to the Pit for Circle. Giggles issued forth infractions for learning Nerd Names and after the Hymn he enraptured the pack with a rendition of Yukon Pete.

Many thanks to Legal, Anal, Party Stick, Terminator, Pussy Hat, Boner, and the Ever Duo

Next Trail is set for 9/16 in Peoples Park. Stay tuned for details.

The Tail of #571

Well what a wonderful Thursday Hashing Day it was. Nineteen IEH3 hounds gathered at Mike’s Welcome Tavern in the Valley for the 571st trail. We were blessed with Virgin Sully (yell, if the spelling is wrong) and transplant Ookie Smokey NO Poky (the same applies if I got your spelling wrong). You will need to ask her about her hashing tree, because it sounds more like a bush.

Scratch was missing for some lame excuse about loosing her a toe nail. Shit don’t you have nine good ones? Any who – hope she recovers well so we can see her smiling face and have her song knowledge soon.

As the dust clouds came and large drops of rain fell, Everhard ventured out to lay a splendid trail. Oh, did you know that Mike’s was just a four lane avenue away from DISHMAN HILLS. Oh Yeah SHIGGGGGGY BABBIEEEEE! So with some nicely marked arrows we ventured to the Shig. Spooner Boy and his ankle brace along with Beaver and his aging knee were, OVERJOYED! But as hashers they strived for the beer. Unlike you NO-SHOWS that want email updates!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (We have 80 on the list and only 21 show????????)

White marks were found after a count-back five and some hill work. Up and Down as the trail progressed which all ½ minds wish they could experience more often, but this was a Dishman trail. So it was vegetation, rocks, and that sweet smell of stagnate water that awaited. After a mini stop at the Hash Hold we were off to climb some more. A skip here, slip there, and an AH SHIT brought us to the Beer Stop venue. Ahhhhh what a view and it was nice to have an iced beer and orange grub.

Tale Tails were told and hounds hid their treasures as the pack ventured down. Except Legal Bondage who seemed to want to give away her Tong footwear? Crap did she actually pry it away from a severed foot? With no takers it worked as a nice Sunshade.

Uncle Pervey found his mother’s douche some where on trail. But with flowers in his hair, we wondered if he had a mother or actually was just deposited by a Meteor as he claimed foot size does not proportionately resemble a “Fireman”.

Boner showed up with a collector SPAM can which Sweaty Peti tested for authenticity. Yep, it was aged. So with all gathered, the Beast Maserbator conducted the Circle. Oh, he so loves being pulled back in as RA. Down Downs were swallowed, our limited song selection was sung and we enjoyed suds in the SUN, finally.

So known as true and scribed by
Trancid Nuts.

The Tail of #570

Good Trail – though it ended up longer than Party Stick thought it would be (his map was very small). We missed singing “Happy Birthday F…” to you. We have a couple of new transplants from Mississippi that attended… Kentucky Fried Failure (she is attending Gonzaga) and Slippery Dippery Cock (at least I think that’s what he said… either that or Slippery Dickory Cock).

Attendance included Boner (R-A), Pussy-Hat, Comes-In-Spurtz, Beaver, Anal, Legal, Ever-Hard & Ready, plus the two transplants I mentioned, and of course the hare, Party Stick. The last one in the door was Everhard so has been volunteered as the next hare – venue Mikes in the Valley near the Déjà Vu. The pack crossed I-90 at Idaho Street and had trouble with a check at the railroad tracks and it took at least 15 minutes to finally find the well hidden flour on true trail down the tracks to the east. The next check the pack had trouble with was back out on the road (I’m guessing 3rd???). Trail marks were eventually found by Everhard up in the wooded rocks and trails. Some of the pack tried “smart hashing” a bit and a spontaneous “Hash Hold” was called until the wayward Legal was finally found.

Trail finally led to the Spokane River where the hare was waiting with cold Kookanee, water and chips. The transplants wanted songs so we gave them “head” (so said), “I used to work in Chicago” and “Today is Monday…” With about three beers remaining, circled was called and vessels were produced from empty water bottles with the tops literally ripped off, thanks to Boner. By 9pm the back was on-in back to where Party Stick had his vehicle parked and everyone was transported back to the Falls in two shifts. The pack was circling in the parking lot and deciding on grease location when the Evers headed on back to Spokane. So that’s all I got.

On-on!
So scribed and known as true.
Everready

The Tail of #566

16 hounds gathered at Studio K for our first Thursday trail of 2010. It would have been 17 but some virgin went back to change and he never came back. Oh, but there is always another trail. Buck up was deposited and many suds swallowed as the pack gradually ventured toward trail, which is a tradition of the IEH3, gradually getting our asses out of the pub and on trail.

The Ever’s were first out and must have got lost as we never heard a whistle or a sight of them. Maybe they were prospecting for the 567th trail in two weeks. Hope they are well and we see them again.

Virgin Hares Cums in Spurts & Homo Erectus went big and small with the checks on this trail. I guess that is the difference between a spurt and an erectus. Anyway, I was left thinking of an old Sunday School song entitled Deep and Wide – but I digress. Yet as always we wondered our way locating diagonal marks which suggested turns but ended up as straight On On’s, especially at some intersections. As all our hash trails go there were enough whistles blown to keep hounds progressing. But at times I think Beaver and Pink were left wondering what the F, as hounds went left, right, back, and forward.

But the trail actually made a nice repeating circle jerk here and there. Or is that more correctly stated as a Skate America Composite Figure Eight. Those flacks were here again this year, right? Thus the hares should be complemented on such a feat. Yet, I am concerned of the recent tradition of having an ABSOLUTE A – B TRAIL WHERE THE B IS A BS / CIRCLE. What happened to the days of a BS during trail and then the circle? Well I guess we need some hares to buck up and set things right.

Our circle was conducted in Homo’s yard as he didn’t want shit on the patio, I guess. We did have a future hasher observe the festivities and quickly named her “Make No Eye or Voice Contact”. Seems she was always calling for someone. Thus circle was held and the RA dropped his beer a few times. But we all cherished being hashers, having hares, and enjoying the fact we have a happy kennel.

The Pack wishes happy travels for Cums in Spurts and Valenteenie’s trip to VEGAS for Valenteenies 25th B Day.

So Scribed and Known to be True,
Trancid Nuts

Upcumming Trail:
#567 May 27th @ 6:00PM
Fish Lake Trail Head (who said)
South on Government Way across the Sunset Highway (More specific Destructions will follow)
Hare: RA TerminatorOutdoor start so Buck Up is $1 for a Beer or $20 for Five, ha.