IEH3 Re-HASH - #523 The Swamp

Welcome to the re-HASH of the #523 IEH HASH at the Swamp—the awesome, opened again venue on the outskirts of SpoKanada and Browne’s Addition!

A beautiful Thursday evening for hounds to follow trail wherever it may lead…

Nineteen brave souls were led out by 2 hare extraordinaires for a nice little visit to places near and far in the western portion of the downtown area—hell if we got lucky we might even overru* the Friggin Flyin Irish on this last IEH3 Thursday Trail for the year. Yep, daylight gettin slimmmer, beer bellies getting bigger, time to change to more daylight and thus more foam and trail time.

Trail was laid—very cleverly, CLEARLY, expertly and with fun for the pack in mind. Led by Rancid Nuts, Beaver, Schlongus and Lucky Balls the pack easily found marks after numerous falsies…Trail meandered aimlessly BUT down from the Swamp arriving at the base of Latah Creek for a quick jaunt across the bridge into Peoples and High Bridge Park. Scenic marks were placed for maximal potential to meet some new friends in the woods if desired—some might even have handcuffs or official titles within City Government or… Although the marks were numerous, and again many falsies laid true trail was sniffed out by experienced hounds Topless Barbie and Puss N Boots with the assistance of Buggy Butt and Deep in the Pockets. Marks directed the pack to the “Guy who stole a shitload of money from people in the Inland Empire and is now selling Real Estate in Arizona ” Bridge for a nice Turkey/Eagle split. Of course Pilfering Peter Sponge Bob No Pants takes pride in his “Fly Like an Eagle” ability bailed off along the river while Staff Infected not wanting to bust his ass on the shiggy trail takes the Turkey . As the 2 FRB’s haul balls our—Pilfering literally and to the…delight of ??????? Others in the pack follow aimlessly as all HASHers should--only to take it in the ass with a back 77 (why 77? Cuz it is ate more than 69-Huh!!!!!!) So the tried and trued professional and experienced hashers Princess Grace, Eat n Run, Foamy and Huck lead the now tired pack—poor suckers back to true trail heading—who said—up, up and up some more to Brownes Addition from the northside. By now with the pack strung out and needing beer Yeah Sure Ya Betcha along with Likesem Stiff, ProPoke and Box Wacker—being smarter hashers—head—who said to the Elk—I mean we have been on trail for 12 miles and 3 hours the beer stop has to be close!!!!! But nope the hares are not done with their torturous and diabolical trail. A diversion is found with stairs going straight up in the direction of CdA park in the heart of Browne’s. If not for the beer sniffing abilities of Scratch n Sniff, Lickem n Stickem, Just Depends, Captain Kirkoff and NB Vilma the pack might have hooked up with the Irish. The flour and marks led the parched pack to the BS just off of CdA Park . As it was dark by now after hours and hours of uplifting trees bushes and flowers Anal Whistler, Backdoor Tucker, Magically Cliticious, Pussy Peddler, Hefner, Frightened Turtle, Blows Hard, GI Jugs, Fucking Incouragable, Great Stuff-Easy Trim, Hefner, Jack Ass, Sleazbag, Sexy Bitch, Slo Pee, Smokey the Tuna, Spewer, Three Dogs *uckin, Will Work for Food and Will Work for Sex did a collective search and found the beer located hanging off the Sunset Bridge and after fighting off the folks that live in the van down by the river and in the boxes, also down by the river brought the hoppy bounty back to the house that Hot Rod built!!!!!!!!!! Numerous bottles of beer were consumed, stories of trail treasure, shiggy adventures and new acquaintances made the pack moved back to the Swamp for circle. At circle the collective pack proclaimed that they had just been on the best trail ever laid in the history of IEH3. There was much rejoicing in honor of the hares-Virgin Hare HOT ROD and wily veteran dipshit SPOONER BOY. So just a little word of advice, as heard by your humble scribe, for the rest of the pack that unfortunately did not see fit to make this trail… Chia Crack, Chilly Cheeks, Defloured, Everhard, Everready, Everspreader, Just Plain *uckin Bone Her, Kanookie, Moonbeams, Party Stick, Squirt, Terminator, The Beast Masterbator, Uncle Pervy, Valenteenie Ass, Wafflenuts, Whiskey Snatch, NB Sam and Virgin Leslie—YOU ALL MISSED A GREAT TRAIL…ON ON submitted with the usual integrity and truth as best recalled in a dazed, hazed and confused state by your humble scribe Spoonered.