Hash Camp Out 2009

It wasn’t an overly large gathering, but 14 made for a good party-sized group… a total of 15 when you count the couple of hours that Scratch showed up Saturday evening to bless the pack with Yucca and the hash flag before disappearing into the sunset. Attendees also included GM Everhard, Everready, Pussyhat, J-P-F-Boner, Party Stick, Terminator, Legal Bondage, Anal Whistler, The Beast Masterbater, New Boot Stephanie (now named, but more on that later), Pink Pecker, Valenteenie Ass, Uncle Pervy and beer meister Chia Crack. We missed the rest of you!

Friday night was spent establishing tent sites, the group site and most importantly the beer keg site. The group as a whole was up around the campfire till way past this hasher’s bed time. It’s amazing how quickly the hours slip away when there is a keg of PBR, a keg of IPA and a jug of Crunk Juice to keep everyone hydrated. Pink Pecker organized “games”, one of which included a pair of gloves glued to a pair of beer glasses which were then duct-taped onto the wearer’s wrist… not to be removed until a full pint of PBR and a full pint of IPA were completely consumed… just ignore that itch because you cannot get to it with beer glasses securely strapped to your hands. The Beast dubbed them “Edward Beer Gloves”. Every male hasher completed his turn at wearing the beer-glass-gloves; while every female hasher enjoyed shots of some licorice tasting something (must’ve burned a few more brain cells as I don’t remember what it actually was).

Bright and early the next morning it turned out we’d pitched our tent in the direct line of sunrise… noooooo!!!!!!!! I’m still sleepy! So the Evers got up around 7, took their car down the road to their cabin and brewed a couple pots of coffee to take back to the rest of the group along with some muffins and bagels. But it was 10:30 before the hardiest partiers began materializing. Around noon or so a group drove in to Harrison to buy out the Harrison Store ice supply – they came back after spending $50 on ice (it had all melted again by the next morning). At 2 Everhard took off to start laying trail, though there was much whining and grumbling that the trail should be delayed until at least 6pm. But as the hare and the GM, all protests were overruled and with help the pack was nudged into following (though the hare had at least a 30 minute head…who said head… start). With my assurance to them that it was a short trail… and an easy trail through a meadow… many donned flip-flops and sandals rather than running shoes. I had doubts that many would have ever left the comforts of the beer keg if they’d had to wear actual shoes.

Yes, the trail led the pack through a meadow (of sorts), but it also included much noxious knapweed and many wild rose bushes… oops! Because of the less than enthusiastic approach to following trail by some of the hounds, it took longer than it should have, but we eventually got everyone to through the trail to the beer stop and on back … the Beast dragging along a Barbie house for trail treasure that looked more like a crack house and Anal Whistler wearing the hare’s hash shorts on his head like a turban… fortunately Everhard had skivvies so he didn’t sunburn. And then it was on down to the dock where everyone made it into the water at least once and circle was held over until later in the campout. The water was refreshing and Boner took many of the group out on his boat or dragged them behind by a rope… on some sort of floatie tube thing, of course… though he probably would’ve enjoyed pulling bodies around the lake without floatation devices.

Dinner was barbecued burgers and dogs plus many pot luck side dishes. Scratch-n-Sniff showed up long enough to grill our burgers and dogs plus offer Yucca all around, and then she disappeared into the night with other “more important” obligations calling her away. After “good grease”, the group assembled to learn a new card game called Asshole (I’m sure it could have had a different name and still been the same game) with playing cards the size of file folders… easier for the inebriated to identify their cards. It was actually a fun game and continued on long into the night – though the playing group dwindled as the night progressed. About 2 or 3am Everhard was rummaging around to get the fly on the tent because of the lightning flashing in the distance and later we heard the pitter patter of raindrops on nylon. The nice part of it was that the sunrise wasn’t blinding at 6am… we slept till almost 7 because the pitter patter continued. We eventually got up and headed off to bring back coffee and the rest of the muffins and bagels from the day before. And because of the cooler temperature that accompanied the rain there were many that didn’t roll out of their tents till near 11.

The Beast volunteered to lay trail through the campground tent sites for a “hangover trail” Sunday after the cloudy skies cleared… and the pack followed a trail of cheddar goldfish crackers to the beer. It was a good trail and the beer stops (two) had good shade… the wetness of the morning had completely dissolved into a muggy sauna and then turned to clear blue skies and hot, hot sizzling sunny rays. Circle commenced and was drawn out until there was nary a drop of liquid amber left to be consumed. The highlight of the down-downs was to award New Boot Stephanie with a fitting hash name. That long Rapunzel mane of hair had the pack offering up many wonderful names… but there was also the full endowment feature that played into the packs’ devious minds. With nearly a confirmation on “Tail Treasure” there was an overwhelming pack endorsement to Boner’s sudden inspiration for “Tail of Two Titties”! So for now and evermore (or until a re-naming) New Boot Stephanie will be known as Tail of Two Titties! After circle, the group proceeded to break camp… some headed home and some headed back to the Ever’s dock for one or two last dips in the lake. Then all was quiet again.
Submitted to the best of my recollection – Everready. Ya’all come back next year now!